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Lol. I put that as my title because Addison has been SO colicky for the past 2 nights and I couldn't figure out why. It has been frustrating because I am so TIRED because she just sits up and cries all night long unless she is attached to my breast. So to get a little bit of shut eye I put her in our bed and hook her up and fall asleep. I've gotten very good at sleeping with a baby in my arms. I don't even have to wake up anymore to put my breast back in her mouth! Anyways, I was thinking and thinking about why all of a sudden she was so gassy and colicky. It is from lettuce. I know this because I ate some in the hospital and she had colic. I ate a salad on Sunday night and she had colic that night and then I ate salad last night and she had colic. It is lettuce. So, lettuce forget us! It is kind of sad/frustrating because I am trying to eat healthier but I can't even have a salad! I couldn't eat lettuce when I was pregnant with her because it made me horribly sick and now I can't eat lettuce because it makes Addison horribly sick. Oh well. Life goes on.
As for an update with my breastfeeding decision things are going really well and it turns out that I won't have to make that decision. We went to a lactation appointment yesterday and Addison was able to get 2.5 ounces from me! She is also back to her birth weight and then some. So I am now on the herb Fenugreek which is supposed to increase milk supply (my friend tried it and said it works really well) and Blessed Thistle which increases the flow of blood to my breasts. So hopefully they will work. We shall see! I will post later about Addison's 2 week appointment that she had last week Thursday. I just don't have time right now. Duty calls. A mom's work is never done!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Big Decision
I have a big decision to make. I need to decide if I'm going to continue breastfeeding or if I'm going to switch Addison to a bottle. The truth and fact of the matter is that I am not producing enough milk and Addison won't stay awake long enough to get what she needs from me anyways. I am seeing lactation people right now but I don't have the kind of time and discipline to do what they need me to do. I don't have the time or energy to feed her every 2 hours and then pump for 15 minutes and then feed her a bottle with the pumped milk and formula. It takes an hour just to do that process. Addison also screams the whole 15 minutes I'm pumping because she just wants to be held.
I love breastfeeding even though it is an awful, painful process. I love the bond it gives us. I also know that breastfeeding is important for her health. She just isn't getting what she needs from me and that is so frustrating. I feel like I'm starving my child. I just have to think about it and decide. If you have any suggestions please leave them for me!
I love breastfeeding even though it is an awful, painful process. I love the bond it gives us. I also know that breastfeeding is important for her health. She just isn't getting what she needs from me and that is so frustrating. I feel like I'm starving my child. I just have to think about it and decide. If you have any suggestions please leave them for me!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Addison Noka Kaman
Addison Noka Kaman is HERE! She was born on May 6, 2010 at 6:21pm weighing 9lbs 4oz and was 21 inches long. Talk about a chunker. Now everyone knows why I was so desperate to get her out of me! So here is the story:
On May 4th we made a visit to the hospital becuase I thought I was in labor. I was having severe back pain and contractions were 2 minutes apart. We went to labor and delivery and they observed me for a few hours and sent me home because the contractions were taking me nowhere. They said the kind of contractions I was having could last up from a day or weeks. I was not happy to hear this. The next day I slept until 4:30pm because they had given me a sleep aide and it definitely worked. I got up that day and ate dinner and was still feeling miserable so I went back to bed.
Around 1:30AM on May 6 I woke up feeling like I had to use the bathroom and so I went there but nothing was happening. Around 2:15 the pain increased and I just knew that the pain were contractions. I was having back labor. Let me tell you that back labor is AWFUL. Mine was especially awful because I had either one on top of the other or nothing. Around 5AM they were just becoming awful so we headed into the hospital.
I got there and they observed me for a bit and said that I was not in full, active labor yet. However, they weren't going to send me home either because I was in a TON of pain. They got me the epidural as soon as they could in hopes of easing some of my pain. However, the epidural ended up almost being a disaster because when it finally kicked in I HATED it. I couldn't feel anything or control the bottom half of my body. I hated the feeling of not being able to control my body so much that I finally asked them to turn the epidural off. They thought I was crazy but I would have rather had the pain instead of not being able to control myself. So they turned it off and while it was wearing off the midwife had decided that I needed pitocin to really get things going since it had taken me over 5 hours to go 1 cm. Well when the pitocin finally kicked in the epidural had worn off and my contractions were coming one on top of the other. They were non stop and there was NO relief. I was miserable. I made the anesthesiologist come back in and turn the epidural back on but not administer the usual 3 big doses to get things numb as quick as possible. This worked just fine because the epidural kicked in and the pain was eased and I could still know when I was having a contraction and mostly maintain control over my body which was what I wanted.
We did have one scare during all the epidural and pitocin dilemmas. The midwife came rushing in at one point and said that the baby was having an irregular heartbeat and that she needed to break my water and put internal monitors on the baby's head as quickly as possible to see if I needed an emergency c-section. It turned out to be nothing and was actually a good thing because I went from 6cm to 8cm in less than 2 minutes!
When I finally felt ready to push I told Ralph that he needed to get the nurse to get the midwife quickly. Well the midwife was in another delivery and I had to wait a few minutes for her to get to my room. When she finally got there and checked me she said, "Oh. Hello. You're right there." Refering to the baby and the fact that she was coming out whether I wanted her to or not. So I began pushing and I pushed and pushed and pushed and I felt things pop and tear as she came sliding out and it was awful. Her head was so hard to get out. I was exhausted but after an hour of pushing she finally came out.
They put her on my chest and I was so exhausted and overwhelmed. I kind of was out of it at that point and it didn't really hit me that the baby laying on my chest screaming had just come out of me and was mine. She was though and I felt extremely happy even though no one could tell.
After she came out I had a lot of repair to get done. She tore almost everything on her way out. I'm talking about internally and not externally. I did not have an episiotomy and I have no stitches on the outside.
As for this experience, I have come to the conclusion that no one in their right mind would actually do something that crazy so therefore it didn't happen. So my next question is, "When is the next one coming?!" Lol...JOKING. Below are some pictures for you all to see.
Addison Noka Kaman. She looks like me from the tip of her nose to the bottom of her chin and the bridge of her nose up is Ralph.
Ralph giving me a helping hand while I was pushing.
Ralph Waiting for Addison to arrive...or at least make some progress in that direction.
On May 4th we made a visit to the hospital becuase I thought I was in labor. I was having severe back pain and contractions were 2 minutes apart. We went to labor and delivery and they observed me for a few hours and sent me home because the contractions were taking me nowhere. They said the kind of contractions I was having could last up from a day or weeks. I was not happy to hear this. The next day I slept until 4:30pm because they had given me a sleep aide and it definitely worked. I got up that day and ate dinner and was still feeling miserable so I went back to bed.
Around 1:30AM on May 6 I woke up feeling like I had to use the bathroom and so I went there but nothing was happening. Around 2:15 the pain increased and I just knew that the pain were contractions. I was having back labor. Let me tell you that back labor is AWFUL. Mine was especially awful because I had either one on top of the other or nothing. Around 5AM they were just becoming awful so we headed into the hospital.
I got there and they observed me for a bit and said that I was not in full, active labor yet. However, they weren't going to send me home either because I was in a TON of pain. They got me the epidural as soon as they could in hopes of easing some of my pain. However, the epidural ended up almost being a disaster because when it finally kicked in I HATED it. I couldn't feel anything or control the bottom half of my body. I hated the feeling of not being able to control my body so much that I finally asked them to turn the epidural off. They thought I was crazy but I would have rather had the pain instead of not being able to control myself. So they turned it off and while it was wearing off the midwife had decided that I needed pitocin to really get things going since it had taken me over 5 hours to go 1 cm. Well when the pitocin finally kicked in the epidural had worn off and my contractions were coming one on top of the other. They were non stop and there was NO relief. I was miserable. I made the anesthesiologist come back in and turn the epidural back on but not administer the usual 3 big doses to get things numb as quick as possible. This worked just fine because the epidural kicked in and the pain was eased and I could still know when I was having a contraction and mostly maintain control over my body which was what I wanted.
We did have one scare during all the epidural and pitocin dilemmas. The midwife came rushing in at one point and said that the baby was having an irregular heartbeat and that she needed to break my water and put internal monitors on the baby's head as quickly as possible to see if I needed an emergency c-section. It turned out to be nothing and was actually a good thing because I went from 6cm to 8cm in less than 2 minutes!
When I finally felt ready to push I told Ralph that he needed to get the nurse to get the midwife quickly. Well the midwife was in another delivery and I had to wait a few minutes for her to get to my room. When she finally got there and checked me she said, "Oh. Hello. You're right there." Refering to the baby and the fact that she was coming out whether I wanted her to or not. So I began pushing and I pushed and pushed and pushed and I felt things pop and tear as she came sliding out and it was awful. Her head was so hard to get out. I was exhausted but after an hour of pushing she finally came out.
They put her on my chest and I was so exhausted and overwhelmed. I kind of was out of it at that point and it didn't really hit me that the baby laying on my chest screaming had just come out of me and was mine. She was though and I felt extremely happy even though no one could tell.
After she came out I had a lot of repair to get done. She tore almost everything on her way out. I'm talking about internally and not externally. I did not have an episiotomy and I have no stitches on the outside.
As for this experience, I have come to the conclusion that no one in their right mind would actually do something that crazy so therefore it didn't happen. So my next question is, "When is the next one coming?!" Lol...JOKING. Below are some pictures for you all to see.
Addison Noka Kaman. She looks like me from the tip of her nose to the bottom of her chin and the bridge of her nose up is Ralph.
Ralph giving me a helping hand while I was pushing.
Ralph Waiting for Addison to arrive...or at least make some progress in that direction.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
ER Trip
Yesterday I had a midwife appointment and so I was a bit sore from them checking me and seeing how my progress was. I was a 2 and 75% effaced according to the midwife I saw yesterday. Usually I have some cramping and pain afterward and that is normal. However, yesterday about 5:30 I was in major pain. My lower back hurt so bad that I could hardly stand it. I woke my husband up from his nap and told him I needed him to rub my back for me because I could barely walk from the pain. Then about 15 minutes later I noticed I was having the back pain with contractions. I started timing them and they were five minutes apart. After about half an hour of that they jumped to being just 2 minutes apart and quite painful. So I texted my sister and told her what was happening and that Ralph wanted us to go into the hospital. I thought this was going to be it because this was different from the braxton hicks contractions that I had usually felt.
Well my sister lives a good 30 minutes away and the hospital is another 30 minutes from our house so it took us about another hour to get there. When we got there I told the receptionist that I thought I was in labor and she checked us in. A nurse came and got us and then they hooked me up to the monitors to measure my contractions. The nurse was quite optimistic after watching the screen for a few minutes because they were really big, really consistent contractions. By this time she is done with my vitals and has to check me. I was still at a 2 and 75% effaced. She then left for about an hour and I had to sit there and just wait while my sister and husband both stared at the screen and said can you feel that one? I couldn't really feel them at that point. Well after an hour she checked me again and I had made progress! I had gone from a 2 to a 3 and was a bit more effaced. I was excited then because I was ready to just go into labor. Well she said that before she could admit me I had to have a bit more progress so she left me for an hour more. When she came back...nothing. No progress. I was still a 3. So I was a bit deflated then. She came back 30 minutes later and I asked her if I could go walk for a bit. It must have been the prego ladies walking hour because the hall was littered with couples just walking around whereas before there was nobody. After an hour of walking (some of which was horrid because I kept having spasm attacks in my legs) I went back to the room. They checked me and...nothing. No progress. I was so sure there would be progress too because I had felt so much pressure as I walked. Well then they needed to monitor the baby because every time I had a contraction the baby's heart would elevate a lot and that concerned them. So back on the monitors I went. Only they were having troubles monitoring the baby because the baby didn't like the monitors and would move away from them or constantly kick/punch them. So after another hour of trying to get at least a 20 minute read on the baby they had achieved that. The midwife came in at this point and said that I'm most likely not in full labor yet and that I should go home. She prescribed a benadryl like tablet to me so I could "rest" and hopefully the contractions would stop. The let me go and I was so angry because I just wanted to have this baby. Everyone else was angry too because it was 1:45AM by this point and they had work or school to go to (not angry at me but angry that nothing was happening and that they had lost so much sleep waiting for nothing).
Well, the sleeping pills worked and I went out like a light and I hate sleeping pills because I never get good sleep with them and I hate anything that forces you to sleep. I am now really groggy and tired and will probably just go back to sleep, even though I've been sleeping all day. I have no energy and I really hope we don't have a repeat of last night tonight. Next time I'm not going in until my water has broken or I'm in unbearable pain. I just really thought it was the real thing because it was so much different from anything I had experienced up to that point. I guess I was wrong.
Well my sister lives a good 30 minutes away and the hospital is another 30 minutes from our house so it took us about another hour to get there. When we got there I told the receptionist that I thought I was in labor and she checked us in. A nurse came and got us and then they hooked me up to the monitors to measure my contractions. The nurse was quite optimistic after watching the screen for a few minutes because they were really big, really consistent contractions. By this time she is done with my vitals and has to check me. I was still at a 2 and 75% effaced. She then left for about an hour and I had to sit there and just wait while my sister and husband both stared at the screen and said can you feel that one? I couldn't really feel them at that point. Well after an hour she checked me again and I had made progress! I had gone from a 2 to a 3 and was a bit more effaced. I was excited then because I was ready to just go into labor. Well she said that before she could admit me I had to have a bit more progress so she left me for an hour more. When she came back...nothing. No progress. I was still a 3. So I was a bit deflated then. She came back 30 minutes later and I asked her if I could go walk for a bit. It must have been the prego ladies walking hour because the hall was littered with couples just walking around whereas before there was nobody. After an hour of walking (some of which was horrid because I kept having spasm attacks in my legs) I went back to the room. They checked me and...nothing. No progress. I was so sure there would be progress too because I had felt so much pressure as I walked. Well then they needed to monitor the baby because every time I had a contraction the baby's heart would elevate a lot and that concerned them. So back on the monitors I went. Only they were having troubles monitoring the baby because the baby didn't like the monitors and would move away from them or constantly kick/punch them. So after another hour of trying to get at least a 20 minute read on the baby they had achieved that. The midwife came in at this point and said that I'm most likely not in full labor yet and that I should go home. She prescribed a benadryl like tablet to me so I could "rest" and hopefully the contractions would stop. The let me go and I was so angry because I just wanted to have this baby. Everyone else was angry too because it was 1:45AM by this point and they had work or school to go to (not angry at me but angry that nothing was happening and that they had lost so much sleep waiting for nothing).
Well, the sleeping pills worked and I went out like a light and I hate sleeping pills because I never get good sleep with them and I hate anything that forces you to sleep. I am now really groggy and tired and will probably just go back to sleep, even though I've been sleeping all day. I have no energy and I really hope we don't have a repeat of last night tonight. Next time I'm not going in until my water has broken or I'm in unbearable pain. I just really thought it was the real thing because it was so much different from anything I had experienced up to that point. I guess I was wrong.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Taking Care of You
So today I got the magazine American Baby in the mail for some reason. I was going through it and there was an article entitled, "Taking Care of You." The whole article talks about the importance of taking time for yourself even though you have kids. I was kind of floored when I read this article. I was thinking, "Shouldn't this go without saying?" Am I wrong in thinking that sometimes you need to put yourself first as a parent? I guess it just comes with my upbringing. My mom used to hate for us to make a big deal out of mother's day because she said one or two days during the year she would need a "mother's day." Those usually came after my mom got fed up with my sister and me fighting all the time and ended with my mom storming out the door saying, "I'm running away for the day." I thought nothing of it. Then, I read this article about a mom who felt GUILTY for taking a small amount of time for herself. I really hope that I am not one of those moms. I want to and know that I need to put myself first in a number of things. I have made the decision already. I know that I need my 10 minutes to take a shower and that my baby probably won't die from crying for a few of those minutes while I do take a shower. I know that I need my scripture time and that my husband would LOVE to spend a few minutes with the baby while I do that. I know also that eventually I too will have to take a "mother's day" and I don't want to feel guilty about just needing a break.
I guess my question is the same old thing, "What is this world coming to?!" What is this world coming to that moms can't take a few minutes each day just for themselves? Are fathers really becoming that hands off? I am grateful that, for now, Ralph wants to take an active role in the raising of our children. He talks all the time about playing with them and bathing them, and changing their diapers, and feeding them if I need to be gone for more than a couple of hours. I find that refreshing. Raising the kids shouldn't be left to one person but should be a team effort. For all of you dads out there, I hope you will take an active role in your child's life. A mom can only do so much you know. However, I could be totally wrong on this. What do you think about a mom taking time for herself? Do you take time for yourself each day? If not, how could you get your "you time?"
I guess my question is the same old thing, "What is this world coming to?!" What is this world coming to that moms can't take a few minutes each day just for themselves? Are fathers really becoming that hands off? I am grateful that, for now, Ralph wants to take an active role in the raising of our children. He talks all the time about playing with them and bathing them, and changing their diapers, and feeding them if I need to be gone for more than a couple of hours. I find that refreshing. Raising the kids shouldn't be left to one person but should be a team effort. For all of you dads out there, I hope you will take an active role in your child's life. A mom can only do so much you know. However, I could be totally wrong on this. What do you think about a mom taking time for herself? Do you take time for yourself each day? If not, how could you get your "you time?"
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Baby Jumper
It's done! I finished my first sewing project that I did entirely by myself (except for a few consultations with my mom)!! I am really quite proud of myself. I made sure to work on it when my mom wasn't around so I couldn't con her into doing anything. Next I am going to make the same jumper but with the appliques that are supposed to go on it. Maybe once I figure out how to make this pattern without any problems I'll move onto more advanced things. Sewing is something that I enjoy doing but I always get so frustrated that I just quit whatever I'm making and pass it on to my mom. I am happy to be finally learning something that I have struggled to learn my whole life. Let's hope I will keep this up! Below are some pictures I took with my phone (so they aren't the best of quality). I can't figure out how to flip them so you'll have to figure out how to look at them...sorry!
False labor and Sleep Eating
So last night was the ward luau and Ralph and I went to see what it was all about. Let's just say that it was an experience and was quite painful because it was soooo boring BUT they did as much as they could with what they were given. Anyways, that is besides the point. While we were there I felt a couple of contractions and I thought they were no big deal. Well they turned out to become quite regular, about 5 to 6 minutes apart with a BIG one every 10 to 15 minutes. So we thought, ok, this is it. FINALLY. Well, they never progressed any. We kept waiting and waiting for them to get painful or for them to get closer but they never did. So, about midnight last night, I was exhausted and said that I was going to bed and that I would wake people if my water broke or the contractions got worse. I am soooo disappointed because I really thought this would be the time. So, we are still waiting.
This morning I made a stunning revelation too. I sleep eat. I had this "dream" last night that I got up in the middle of the night and ate some food and drank a lot of milk and that's all I thought it was. I was wrong because when we got up and went to get breakfast there was barely enough milk for 1 person because I had indeed drunk it. So, now I'm going to have to vigilant. Maybe this was a one time thing. Let's hope. It might have been because I was so agitated last night but I don't know. It was just a random thing. Weird. Anyways, that's the update. As always, Maybe today will be the day!
This morning I made a stunning revelation too. I sleep eat. I had this "dream" last night that I got up in the middle of the night and ate some food and drank a lot of milk and that's all I thought it was. I was wrong because when we got up and went to get breakfast there was barely enough milk for 1 person because I had indeed drunk it. So, now I'm going to have to vigilant. Maybe this was a one time thing. Let's hope. It might have been because I was so agitated last night but I don't know. It was just a random thing. Weird. Anyways, that's the update. As always, Maybe today will be the day!
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